Story of the Fabulous Tushies
by roxanne2332233
Summary: There were fabulous tushies. No question about it. And soem sparkles, rainbows, cellophane, and the love for a sadists.


Sexy Adventures of the Attached Buttocks. 

Once upon a time where was a land filled with people with beautiful tushies. Only people with beautiful behinds could live in it. They masticated everyday and only shopped at Marina Foods (fish) and a cat that made takoyaki. Yes. For all the people in the land.

Ok. So this is a story; something wonderous , fantastical must happen. So, we have four heroines, not the drug—they had the most fabulous tushes in the tushy land. One had a rainbow—I want sparkles—_yours is in a baseball uniform—_that doesn't make sense, cause baseball uniforms are kinda of strange.—SO One is rainbow, one is sparkly, one had an affinity cellophane, and one was chlorined—in the sexy way. Oh no~! So, so, ARUHI, the heroines with the beautiful tushies, went to Marina foods. _FISH. FISH!_ (cellophane ass) _wait do we have to tell stories in this voice? I hope not. We have to make up pennames! We can be rainbow ass, sparkly ass, cellophane ass, and chlorine ass. HARDER HARDER! Let's masticate together. Ooh yes, …_

Ok anyways, so one day, these fellow heroines—again, not the drug. We are NOT related to any drug lrelated item—walked into Marina Food _fish_ and of coruse, everyone was staring at those nice tushies. They were all envious even though they all had nice tushies. _STOP IT stop harassing the yak_. Wait. Is everyone new to this place? They admired the way it flexed under the fabric. There were various comments such as—**ooh look at that flex. DANg that booty is BANGIN'!. SUKISUKISUKI!3—**So, one who was dressed in a baseball uniform came in, and cellophane ass was like, o-o-oh!. She immediately felt an immense attraction to that ass. _Oh stop stripping! Here I'll help you. _**People like asses!**. _I saw a giant bra, so it was like this giant padding thing that goes on yoru butt. We totally don't need it. Should buy one for Tako or something. I was a guy w/ a nice ass. Korean guys have nice asses…_.

Suddenly! The heroines felt this beautiful aura and as the doors opened and four beautiful asses walked in—**men** with asses! On the left there was this. Guy. Left? Depends on how you look at it. Anyways, everyone in the market turned. Ok, the guy on OUR left, _to the left to the left_, and he had-he had- almost long flowy hair, but it wasn't that long. Idk it's that guy In orange with the silky brown mane as he swished his head in an elegant sadistic manner. A couple women dropped dead on the spot—and some men, too. Instantly, there was a loud tokitoki sound JOINSEXJOINSEXIDKTOCOME. Ok. He smiled, and women died. Some men. He opened his mouth—"my name is Okita Sougo, and I am, king of Sadists. I am, _(Wait jenn's gonna have hot sex with MIYAVI?)_ and I am a samurai. A sexy one, I always carry around sexy handcuffs. " Apparently, Marina Foods sold everything, like cars. And butts. But no one bought them. So chlorine ass, turned around, and their eyes met. It was destined to be! S+M. Like a perfect puzzle. It was scrolling down a window. Wait. A window? Internet window?!?! She saw his beauty for face and his sadistic smile. Her gaze moved down to his chest, and he was wearing a leather yukata which was billowing in the breeze, slightly open, which revealed, his SEXY CHEST, but. It made her think of his fantastic ass. Anyways, his crotch was covered. ONWARDS!

Moving on to the next hot guy. He was wearing a sexy grass-stained baseball unfirom. Cellophane ass traced the stains down to his ass. They made an arrow pointing to that brilliant ass. WHAT THE FOCK HOW DO THEY MAKE AN ARROW…He was wearing a sexy baseball helmet. And when he went into the store, he took off his baseball helmet. And the INVISIBLE BREEZE blew through the store again. Ruffling his beautiful black hair, it may seem like a typical baseball haircut, but it was really stylish okay. And he smiled. And laughed. And his charming white enamels beamed off the lights and blinded cellophane ass. And a couple of ladies near the toothpaste section driopped dead. And he said, "AHAHAHAHAHA." He then said, "My name is…YAMAMOTO TAKESHI 3" And cellophane ass felt her heart skip a beat and her skirt flirted through the heavens.

Our sexy asses don't really understand the feeling so they're getting confused so they lose control of their shopping carts. D:

And in his right hand, he carried a hard, long baseball bat. And in his other…a baseball. Cellophane ass loved the flexing of his bicep as he threw the ball up. And down. And up. And down. It was love. But no one knew it yet. And then he saw a little boy, who was ogling at the rainbow sexy asses. "Hey, do you want to play with my balls?" And the little boy said, "Heh?" And Yamamoto Takeshi said, "Awesome. AHAHAHHAAHAHMAFIAAHAHAHAHA." And he threw the ball. Cellophane ass stared at the flexing again. Well anyway, the little ball, boy, barely had time to react before the baseball went through his skull. And yamamoto was like "LOLOLOLsorryLOLOLmafia" Cellophane ass found his laugh very charming. And his uniform complimented the curve of his ass perfectly.. everytime he moved she could sense his perfect symmetry of his cheeks. (and not the ones on his face) something about "touchmetouchme!" (:

The s is too distracting. Moving on. Blah. Fish.

_He's got that long flowy hair. No. I prefer short. He's the tallest one, with the nicest bone structure. Oh! Look at those eyes. _He carried a sexy guitar on his back, grabbed the cashier's microphone, and sang, "**MIYAVI DESU~spill- on Aisle 3**" _OMG I'm Hawttt_. It was music to her ears. Sparkly ass's ears, that is. He stopped his music making and reached up to his silver frames, and fluidly slid them off. The world seemed to stop. Only Sparkly ass and he existed in thie world. _Dammit you guys all have paper people. DAIYAIYAIYAI. Maybe I want t paper person. Read reborn.!_. Ohoh! He smiled, and sparkly ass found his multitudes of makeup so endearing. The ladies in the makeup aisle dropped dead—and some men, too. Sparkly ass looked up, and up, and up—and finally found his face, and was stunned by his gorgeous bone structure. So long, so strong and hard. And he could lift ten kilos. _We are so confused by the ten kilos_. He was wearing questionable clothing, but she loved his fashion sense—it was like nothing she'd ever seen before. _We should compare his voice to luscious.._When he spoke, his voice was smooth like baby oil. _Nap? Ohwait. I thought you said "I'm gay". Confession? Ohnoes. xD_. _I loooove him, the ONE! :D_. _Lol we're like,drunk w/o the alcohol. Haha, I'm the least drunk, and I actually HAD alcohol today. xDD –yum raspberry wine—_

So he walked in right? _–julia spazz- _oh I like his coat. I like _that._. _Oh_ Jenn's trying so hard. "I want his crotch too! But It's hot, so it's ok. Stop blocking his crotch, seriously". Ok so, tight pants, tight pants fetish! Rainbow ass has a tight pants fetish!! "Hey, my name's Hibari Kyouya. –" _I thought they were gay, but they're actually pretty good. He is __**good**_. _Talka bout his tight pants, goddamit_. _Jenn's dad says' I could rip those jeans for a fee!" _He's like a badass rabbit. He doesn't really have a tattoo, it's fake, but it's hot. It's not a shadow! Wait I thought it was a shadow! Look at how _low_ his shirt is, _ohh~_ .

So crashing carts? Our sexy asses don't really understand the feeling so they're getting confused so they lose control of their shopping carts. D: BUT. We not only have asses, not dumb blondes. We have brains! _So we're crashing carts right?_ . So like sparkly ass, crashes carts with MYV in the makeup section. And Yamamoto hits cellophane ass in the hip with the balls. Ohshit that was a close hit. And okita lashes chlorine ass with his whip. Rainbow ass falls inlove with Hibari _I like big butts_ before first sight. She has a tremendous nose bleed and has to be taken to the hospital. **Their worlds collide.**

I love youuuu honeyyy I'm homeeee sexy sexy sexy conflict assmen what. We're saving our sexy assmen. Adkjglkjflkghjal;fjhlakjhs;ke type

Okay so you know that girl, sparkly ass, her DOKIDOKI heart was beating so loud that even rainbow ass could hear it in her dreams. But anyways that other guy, myv or something, he was like "I can hear your heart". And sparkly ass swooned. Sparkly ass said, "I like your music. Your voice is like luscious."

"Why thank you" said MYV, "some people compare me to baby oil."

"that's what I was thinking!!" said sparkly ass. "it must be fate!!"

Sparkly ass gazed into myv's eyes. Myv opened his mouth, and out came melodies of epic proportions. It was like angels singing. Sparkly ass felt like she had joined cellophane ass in heaven. Myv sang his heart out and his lyrics consisted of "I MET MY ONE TRUE LOVE IN A GROCERY STORE, MARINA FOODS, fish. SHE COMPARED ME TO LUSCIOUS BABY OIL, I THINK WE'RE MEANT TO BE, SUKI SUKI SUKI" and added some crazy shit that sparkly ass was so in love with.

"I love you" said sparkly ass. She reached her hand out, and myv reached his hand out, and their fingers were about to touch, when—

Yamamoto's balls came flying through the air and disrupted the romantic setting between these two lovers. "LOLsorry" said yamamoto, and ahahahahaha-ed his way through the supermarket, with cellophane ass trailing behind. Her eyes were trained on his ass. Oh, the way it flexed when he ran… walked… ran… she felt her soul make a second trip to heaven.

"do you wanna play baseball, LOLOLOL?" yamamoto asked unabashedly

"OKAY" said cellophane ass, swifter than the speed of light, "and afterwards lets get married"

"LOLOKAY" said yamamoto. He picked up his balls, and tossed them up. And down. And up. And down. Cellophane ass's eyes followed the balls' movements like she was imagining something else. And then yamamoto threw the ball and everything turned black.

The next thing she knew she was in a hospital bed next to rainbow-ass.

"hey" said rainbow ass. Cellophane ass thought something looked off.

"something looks off." She said.

"yeah I have lots of tissues up my nose. The doctor said I had massive internal bleeding (my ovaries exploded you know) and all the blood is coming out my nose, I dunno why"

"oh." Said cellophane ass. She was about to offer her condolences when yamamoto burst through the hospital doors like a swallow on crack.

"LOLsorry ARE YOU OKAY ahahahaha that was a fun game wanna play again?"

"sure" said cellophane ass, "but you said you'd marry me first"

"LOLOKAY." Said yamamoto. Cellophane ass reached her hand out, and yamamoto reached his hand out, and their fingers were about to touch when—

The king of sadists came flying through the air with chlorine ass trailing NOT SO FAR BEHIND. His soft, golden locks drifted behind him as he raced through the hospital halls and disrupting the patients with srs problems. But he was a sadist so that was okay.

"wait~" said chlorine ass, "come back~"

"no." said okita in that sadistic manner of his.

"oh I get it," said chlorine ass, "you're being a sadist."

"yeah, that's why I have KING OF SADISTS branded across my chest in hot red letters."

"that's sexy." Said chlorine ass, "but not as sexy as your tush."

"why thank you," said okita, "did you know that the leather complements my tush perfectly? It was like we were made for each other.

"you know what else was made for each other?" asked chlorine ass, "you and i."

"um." Said okita.

"will you marry me?" chlorine ass asked, trying the same method as cellophane ass. Unfortunately chlorine ass's dream man was not as brainless and airheaded as cellophane ass's man. Also he didn't laugh like spongebob.

"no." said okita, "I am a sadist."

"okay then," chlorine ass said, because she didn't really expect that to work. And she wouldn't love okita as much if he weren't a sadist. "I guess I'll become M then."

"okay then." Said okita, and then he took off again. So chlorine ass chased after him again. Around and around the hospital they went, and every corner they turned okita managed to overturn an old man in a wheelchair.

But anyways enough about them, lets move on to rainbow ass's lovely TRU RABU STORY. You see, rainbow ass and hibari kyouya were a match made in heaven. THEY WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER. She was born to marry him and he was born to… MARRY HER. Even before their fateful wedding, she knew that he was the one. THE ONE. … the one. _**THE ONE**_. There was nothing not to love about him, from those soft, ebony locks to those tight pants that she had developed a fetish for. She loved everything about him. Even the fact that he slept 18 hours a day and you weren't allowed to make a noise otherwise he would 'BITE U DED' and other kinky things. But she didn't really dislike that. It was sexy. And also he owned a furry yellow bird he had so ingeniously named HIBIRD and that was to be their child. Their love child. And he could sing the namimori anthem. And hibari rode a motorbike. A motorbike. All guys who ride motorbikes are sexy THIS IS A WELL REKNOWN FACT. And his favorite food was hamburgers and Japanese cuisine and rainbow ass would learn how to cook hamburgers and Japanese cuisine if only for him~ and he was the captain of the disciplinary squad and she would also memorize the namimori handbook for him. And also the anthem because that would gain her brownie points. And also she knew that he disliked guys with hips (SHE DID TOO THEY WERE GAY AND HAD GAY EYEBROWS. DID YOU KNOW THAT GUYS WITH HIPS, THEIR EYEBROWS ARE AGAINST THE SCHOOL RULES? BLASPHEMY.) rainbow ass also knew that hibari attracted many people, from guys to girls to guys again, and even yamamoto seemed to want to feel him up sometimes. Rainbow ass didn't mind it if they wanted to cop a feel as long as hibari's heart still belonged to her. She would lock it up in a gold cage and swallow the key. And guard it carefully. Very carefully.

Rainbow ass thought of all this while sitting in the hospital bed feeling her insides squelch around rather uncomfortably. But she didn't mind because it was for hibari's sake and she would rape the world for hibari's sake. And more. But nobody needs to know to what extent rainbow ass would go for her hibari. Rainbow ass decided to conveniently get out of the hospital bed even though the doctor told her to stay in there for 1q39750q98 years (that's not a real number, there are qs in it!!) but disobeying doctors were nothing. So anyway she got out of the hospital bed and went to flounce around on the roof, CONVENIENTLY coming across hibari napping peacefully. Rainbow ass made a small noise that sounded kind of like a mix between appreciation, shock, and pain. also known as "urk". She felt her ovaries give a quiver but there was no more blood to be lost. So she stood on the rooftop while the breeze blew by peacefully and ruffled her darling's hair. He was so cute. He's so cute. I love you hibari. Rainbow ass sat down and stealthily stole the namimori handbook from hibari's butt pocket (SHE TOUCHED IT SHE TOUCHED IT SHE TOUCHED IT SHE TOUCHED IT SHE TOUCHED IT SHE TOUCHED IT).

"I love you" she whispered breathlessly.

Hibari cracked an eye open. "you are disturbing my nap" he said, "I'll bite you to death now."

"okay." She said, "this makes me love you even more. I love you."

"okay." He said. And then he got up.

"but before you do that!" said rainbow ass, because she was smart and had something in her head unlike SOMEBODY. Then she proceeded to recite the entire namimori handbook, INCLUDING the anthem.

"wao," said hibari, "that is impressive. Now do it without reading the handbook. Also, where did you get that handbook. Did you take it from my butt pocket and cop a feel while you were at it?"

"of course not." Said rainbow ass, "but your ass is very cute. And sexy. And I want a piece of it."

"did you know that disrupting hibari's nap is against the rules?" said hibari.

"like the guy with hips' eyebrows?" asked rainbow ass

"yes." Said hibari, "so I will have to bite you to death now."

"okay sure." Said rainbow ass, "but before that can we get married?"

"no." said hibari, and rainbow ass felt her world fall to pieces. "you see, I am the free floating cloud and NOTHING WILL CHAIN ME DOWN—"

"BUT WE WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER," wailed rainbow ass, "GOD MADE ME SO I COULD MARRY YOU. DON'T YOU REMEMBER? I DREAMED ABOUT YOU BEFORE I MET YOU. I WROTE A SONG ABOUT THAT. IT BECAME FAMOUS. BUT ANYWAYS WE WERE MEANT TO BE. THERE SHOULD BE NOTHING HOLDING US BACK. I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD. I MEMORIZED YOUR HANDBOOK AND ANTHEM JUST FOR YOU. ALSO I LEARNED HOW TO COOK HAMBURGERS AND JAPANESE CUISINE FOR YOU. AND I'LL FIND HIBIRD A SUITABLE MATE SO HE CAN HAVE LITTLE HIBIRDS AND WE'LL HAVE GRANDCHILDREN!!! ALSO I KNOW HOW YOU LIKE YOUR TEA. IT HAS TO BE NICE AND STEAMING BUT NOT TOO HOT SO IT WILL BURN YOUR TONGUE. ALSO IT HAS TO HAVE A PECULIAR GENUINE JAPANESE TASTE. ALSO I KNOW WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE YOU HATE THE MOST, AND ALSO THE KIND OF PEOPLE YOU LOVE THE MOST (ME RIGHT?) AND ALSO THAT YOU HATE CHERRY BLOSSOMS AND HERBIVORES. GUESS WHAT I'M A CARNIVORE!! I TURNED INTO A MEAT EATER JUST FOR YOU, ALSO I KNOW ALL 1039750198351093 OF YOUR NICKNAMES, WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO LIST THEM OUT. AMONG THEM ARE—"

But then hibari got impatient (though rainbow ass was sure that deep in his heart he was moved by her touching speech BECAUSE THEY WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER) and then he tonfa'd her and she blacked out and instead of only internal bleeding there was outside bleeding too.

But that was okay because she would do anything for hibari. 33333333333333

intermission I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE~ I'M BRINGIN SEXY BAAAACK THEM OTHER MOTHERFUCKERS DON'T KNOW HOW TO ACCCCTTT I'LL LET YOU WHIP ME IF I MISBEHAVEEEE~ ITOSHIIII HITOOOOOO~ AHAHAHAHAHHAHAAH~fish~/intermission

**RAINBOW ASS WANTS TO KNOW WTF IS THIS THING**

It's like it was written by swallows on crack

Lolololololololmafialololololololwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha


End file.
